How to Support a Loved One Through Trauma
How to Support a Loved One Through Trauma
When trauma happens to someone, it doesn’t just affect that person only; trauma can even have a lasting impact on the loved ones of the person who actually experienced the traumatic event. It may leave us feeling helpless and not understanding how to proceed forward to give our loved ones support. This article will give some realistic ways of supporting a loved one through trauma.
Learn About the Trauma They Experienced or Become More Trauma-Informed
Now, this doesn’t mean you need to be an expert in knowing or understanding what they faced, nor does it mean you need to go out and get a trauma therapist’s degree or training (that’s my job haha). But knowing the basics about how trauma presents in your loved one can help you understand how to be supportive of them. We’ve written an article on our services pages about trauma to help you understand what exactly trauma is and the services we offer for Trauma Therapy. Check it out here!
Understand What Support Really Means for Your Loved One
This may be a hard sentence to understand, so please read it again and again: Support looks different for everyone. The way we may think a person needs support may not be what they actually find supportive at all. For example, not everyone wants to talk about the trauma they went through, but others do. Not everyone supportive wants to hear about the traumatic event their loved one experienced, but others do. Support your loved one by listening, by being present, by giving them space, by being patient, and by offering to do something that may help them. Honest and open communication is best here when wanting to understand.
Stray Away from Silver Lining Statements
This goes for both grief and trauma (side note: grief most often comes from a traumatic event): be careful with silver lining statements such as “at least it’s all over now,” “it could have been worse,” or “look at the bright side!” I’m not saying we can’t be hopeful or want to think about good things. But these are statements to redirect rather than to validate and allow them to process their thoughts and feelings. Think about the plot of the Pixar movie Inside Out (if you haven’t seen it, don’t read the next line, it’s a spoiler alert) - no matter how much Joy tried to keep Sadness away to make sure Riley was “always happy,” we learned that Sadness was important to help Riley cope with all the changes that happened to her. We need emotions to help us healthily process things. There are no “good” or “bad” emotions, just emotions that feel better to us when expressed than others. Emotions are a check-in for us to understand what we need.
Don’t Forget to Care for Yourself
Remember how I said trauma doesn’t just affect the person it happens to? Here’s where this is extremely important. Make sure to make time to do things to care for yourself after supporting a loved one. Often, when we hear about someone else’s distress and trauma, we may not be following through with ways to be supportive of ourselves.
Sometimes, loved ones can be exposed to secondary trauma, which is emotional duress and distress that happens to us when we learn about the first-hand traumatic experience of someone else. It is absolutely OK to be in therapy to process through knowing the trauma that happened to a loved one, even if you didn’t experience it firsthand. What you’re feeling matters, too.
Unfortunately, there is no step-by-step process to help a loved one cope and heal from trauma. All we can guarantee for someone is offering our support in whatever way they may need, which may change for them as time passes. The more open you are open to and trying to engage in healthy communication skills with your loved one, the more you’re likely to help speed up the recovery and healing process with your loved one.
Being Working with a Miami Trauma Therapist
It can be difficult to provide the right support your partner needs at times. This is why we are happy to help you and your partner address the effects of trauma in therapy from our Miami, FL-based practice. You can start your therapy journey with a therapist from our team by following these simple steps:
Reach out to meet with a trained trauma therapist
Get to know our team of caring therapists
Get the support your relationship deserves!
Other Services Offered with Miami Vibes Counseling Center
Trauma therapy isn’t the only service we offer. Other mental health services include CBT, ACT, TF-CBT, and parenting support. In addition, we are happy to offer treatment for anxiety, depression, stress, grief, and life transitions. Our team is happy to provide support for couples, children, and families. Learn more about our other services including ESA letters, support for business or employment stress, spirituality, and online therapy. Visit our blog or FAQs page for more helpful info today!
