What To Do When Depression Starts Impacting Your Relationship
Struggling with depression can feel extremely overwhelming and even more so when you notice your depression is affecting your relationship maybe in a way you wish it wasn’t. Some of these impacts you might be experiencing are feeling less tired or uninterested in doing activities you used to enjoy with your partner, increased feelings of anger or irritability either toward yourself, your partner, or just in general, and increased feelings of guilt and shame over the depression existing in the first place.
Communicate - Verbally or Non-Verbally
Communication, as we know, is a big factor in keeping a relationship healthy and balanced. Unfortunately, your partner can’t read your mind (but oh wouldn’t it be easier if they could?), so it can be very important for us to reassure and discuss our thoughts and feelings with our partner. Often, some of us in relationships may take on this feeling of the responsibility around “bringing someone out of their depression” or finding a way to solve problems for them. Some of us feel guilty or as if we’re a “burden” for letting our partners know we struggle with feelings and symptoms of depression. But this can put even more of a tremendous strain on the relationship, affecting the relationship itself as well as each person in the relationship individually.
These are some helpful tips and phrases on how to communicate with your partner regarding depression symptoms:
Tell your partner any thoughts or feelings you’re experiencing. You can say a phrase similar to “I am so sorry, but I am not feeling okay. You did not do anything, this is something I struggle with and am trying to figure out.”
Tell your partner ways you can help. You can say a phrase similar to “Here’s how you can help me to get through this moment…” and proceed to list out realistic ways your partner can contribute, or let them know when they aren’t needed.
Sometimes, however, we really don’t know how to verbally articulate how we’re feeling when struggling with depression. And that’s okay too. Discuss with your partner ways you can communicate with them on what you might need that aren’t directly verbal cues.
Here are a few examples of different things to try with your partner:
If the option is available beforehand, make a list of things that trigger you or signs that you’re experiencing depressive symptoms or an episode that you can discuss with and share with your partner
Put up a “mood sign” on your door letting them know how you feel
Use an inverted mood stuffed animal (such as one of these plushies found here)
Say or text a specific word or phrase (sort of like a safe word, but to communicate the meaning of “I’m not doing well”) you both understand
Make a Plan
When you aren’t experiencing depression symptoms (or even if you are), it can be helpful to sit down with your partner to make a “plan” for when you and your partner recognize you’re experiencing depression symptoms or episodes. This may include lists of activities that help distract or soothe, lists of people to reach out to, or lists of support systems to reach out to should symptoms worsen.
Reach Out for Outside Support
Sometimes, we can’t handle depression on our own, even in a relationship. We may need other outside support such as confiding in friends and family we trust and who are supportive of our relationship, or seeking outside professional help.
Start Working With a Couples Therapist in Miami, FL
If you and your partner are feeling that depression is impacting your relationship in ways that you cannot handle on your own, reach out to an individual therapist or couples therapist for consultations on starting therapy to strengthen and improve your overall well-being. Our team would be happy to offer support from our Miami, FL-based practice. You can start your therapy journey by following these simple steps:
Reach out to get matched with a family therapist
Get to know our team of caring therapists
Start coping with the effects of depression
Other Services Offered with Miami Vibes Counseling
Couples therapy isn’t the only service offered by Miami Vibes Counseling. Other mental health services include CBT, ACT, TF-CBT, and parenting support. In addition, we are happy to offer treatment for anxiety, depression, stress, trauma, grief, and life transitions. Our team is happy to provide support for couples, children, and families. Learn more about our other services including ESA letters, support for business or employment stress, spirituality, and online therapy. Visit our blog or FAQs page for more helpful info today!
